The Alchemy Of YouPorn.

Jump to Comments

Just as I thought my sexual addiction was fading away, I received an email. It was from a friend who was telling me that I should check out this site called YouPorn. “I know you have not much to do and you also have not had sex with your wife in almost a year. You should check out this site, not only will it help with your pent up sexuality but it will also rid you of some of your depression and anxiety,” he wrote. Friends, I have allways thought, are good for guiding you in directions that may be helpful to your well-being. Friends see things that you often can not see about yourself- so I decided to take his advice. I was wrong again.

Lately I have been doing more meditation and prayer. I have been tapping into a quality of spiritual existence that I have found quite satisfying. Recently I finished reading the New Testament and The Koran and I have moved onto the Zohar. As a result of my spiritual center being cultivated, I have longed less for the temptations of the flesh. My cravings to drive around ghettos late into the evening searching for the perfect pornographic hand jobs have seriously diminished and my loyalty to a new found sense of virtue and integrity has increased. After all- our spirit thrives off of integrity. But since I have been introduced to the raw video footage on YouPorn, my spiritual commitment has dwindled.

My fascination for all things pornographic is a biological trait I have inherited from many generations of sexually addicted relatives. The urge to see women do all kinds of degrading and perverted things to men is buried deep within my DNA. Ever since I began masturbating when I was 12 I have been attracted to porn. My mind finds solace and relaxation in the sounds and images produced from pornographic videos. There is a calm that comes over me that I have found in no other recreational activity, other than my recent spiritual pursuits.

I deeply feel like there is an innate conflict between pornography and spirituality (the self perfected state). Something in me feels less motivated by intentions of integrity and virtue when I watch pornography. I don’t know exactly why this is but I presume it is because of a conflict of interests and associations. YouPorn has allowed me to dig down deep in my fascinating repertoire of perverted interests and associations :

girl straight sexy babe WEBCAM online fetish blowjob performers live chat mature couple stockings teens asian handjob blonde boys dating making friends camgirls free chat chicks granny GAY latina ebony cam bigsize horny bdsm joy big tits group 18-22 small tits mommy muscular adultcam milf PRIVATE SHOWS skinny white maturecam shemale amazing live shows tranny hot teen nice cock threesome director toy big ass boobs real girl cute teen video chat lesbian 18+ black girl

All of my perverted interests and more can be viewed from the privacy of my laptop computer. The people that are performing these recreational activities are people just like you and I, supported by no corporate interests but rather a simple video camera and perverted sexual motivations. Sitting for hours on my computer and watching various videos on YouPorn feels just like the guilty pleasures I derived from spying upon my next door neighbor having sex with her multiple boyfriends. I used to hang out for hours by her window watching her do things to young men that I had only imagined in my already corrupted young mind. Rain or shine I would be outside that window until my mother would come outside and yell that it was time for dinner. It is almost as if I am regaining some lost sensations of my youth while watching YouPorn- and I know that this is not a good sign since Psychologists claim that this is a fundamental cause of a lot of addictions.

I was not really bothered the past few weeks by the hours and hours that I would spend watching YouPorn. It did not seem unhealthy to me that I would come home from a long day of teaching high school and rather than going out and exercising, or reading or simply relaxing and talking to my wife- I would sneak into my small studio, lock the door and spend hours watching YouPorn until my wife finally yelled “time for dinner.” However today I realized that my YouPorn obsession has gone a little to far. During meditation today I could not stop thinking about the various facial cum shots that I have been watching incessantly. I got out from my meditation and came to my computer where I put on my headphones (which I bought specifically to make the pornographic experience more life like) and went immediately to YouPorn/facials. My spiritual progress was directly interrupted by my desire for porn.

My health has not been in the most ideal condition for some time. My chakras have not only been worn out by my lustful ambitions but also the guilt and shame that I have suffered as a result. It is important to me that I become more spiritually aligned in my life so that I can learn how to love thy neighbor as if he or she where thy self. It is important to me to live with integrity and to set intentions which are motivated by positive energy and love. My healing is wrapped up in my emotional well being and my obsession with YouPorn may be inhibiting my ability to turn toward heaven without a guilty conscience. Pleasures of the flesh are always confused with sin and immorality but personally I have never let these negative attributes stop me. It is only now that I am feeling like pornographic obsessions may not be beneficial for mind or body. Being sent the link to YouPorn may have seemed like a good intentioned gift from my friend, but for me it has become a doorway which has lead back into the realms of my wounded soul.

The End.

7 Comments

Filed under The Absurd Chronicals

Tags: addiction, amazing live shows, bdsm, camgirls, chicks, Comedy, couple, ebony, Entertainment, Fetish, Film, free chat, friends, GAY latina, girl, health, horny, Integrity, joy, Lesbian, Literature, live chat, Marriage, mature, Meditation, Nude, performers, Personal, Pornography, PRIVATE SHOWS, psychology, Religion, Respect, Sex, sexy babe WEBCAM, skinny white, soul, Spiritual, teens, Thoughts, Video, virtue, Writing