Lunch Time Therapy.

“The significant problems that we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” Mr. Albert Einstein

I had lunch with a friend today who was arguing with me about my ideas of the present moment. He agreed with my statement that we can find complete satisfaction in our lives if we could keep our minds directed on what is here NOW. But worry and desire creeps in, he said. For example, I am always wanting for my daughter be safe, happy, financially secure and I am concerned that these are not realities for her in the moment. So he worries. I asked him whether or not he thought he was projecting his own fear and insecurity upon his daughter? He shook his stern head at me and said, listen I agree with what you are saying- but I am still a parent who wants only the best for my daughter. Yes, I said but do you want the best for yourself? Do you fear not having financial security, safety and happiness? Of course not he replied and it was at that moment that our conversation grew tense.

We are all so busy nowadays that we have little time to contemplate anything but what we would like to have in some future space. We have become so crowded in a personality of our own making that to look around at it and describe what we see is much to painful. Can’t go there so lets go else where, we say. Our personality has become such a habit that it is comfortable. Being fully present in this world where everyone is so busy, is unpleasant. When I told my friend, who swallowed his second glass of red wine, that he was creating the very thing that he feared by not addressing his own inner state, his own feelings- he immediately asked me how I thought this was so. If you want your daughter to be happy and secure, I told him, than you need to create happiness and security within yourself. Once you have achieved this state of “awareness” you will then naturally create these things for everyone around you. By wanting security and happiness for your daughter, you are suggesting that they are not there now. And if this is true the only way you will create these conditions for another is by creating them for yourself. Where you put your attention creates your experience.

He looked at me with a blank expression. He was confused or distressed. He asked me if I was in therapy or had become a Buddhist. I told him, no, I was just trying to figure things out for myself. You see, I said- if how we have been thinking has created all our fear and frustration we need to change this very form of thinking within our self first, before we can help others. The old ways of thinking have created our lives as they are now. We still have fear that we project onto others. By being present we can learn to understand how we are feeling and transform our feelings into positive expressions of love. This is all there is to it even though it is the hardest thing you will ever do.

I see, he said, things are not so bad, I am dealing with it. Don’t think that I am suffering inside, I am just trying to figure it out as well, he tried to convince me. At that point my friend ordered another glass of wine from the waitress and told me that I should become a Therapist.

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