Sole Food.

meI never knew what sole food tasted like until I felt the heel of her foot in my mouth. It was an accident that I found myself lying supine and naked upon the ground. She asked me if I wanted to “know enlightenment, straight up no chaser”, and I wanted to learn. “Directly abide by my words and you will realize that you do not exist, you never will exist and you never did exist.” “Is this a philosophy?” I asked her. “It is the truth,” she said as she took off her pantyhose. I was hesitant. I could not stop conceptualizing the scene before me. I knew we were separate identities but she wanted to make us one by sticking her foot in my mouth. This is how she found her identity, she told me- “by sticking my foot in the mouths of men.” With an almost unimaginatively subtle push I found myself opening my mouth and watching the sole of her foot make its way over my nose. My consciousness felt threatened but I held back the fear that wanted to get up and run. I focused on my breath and let her foot wonder where it will. “All sense of I is an illusion, a fabrication….and my foot is an invitation for you to find this truth out for yourself. You have no self until your mind inserts a self into it.” “I am uncomfortable,” I hesitantly spoke. “It is only a biological imperative that gives rise to your sense of discomfort, just focus on the sole of my foot and think of it as food,” she said with the calming tone of a spiritual teacher. She stuck the sole of her foot into my mouth and told me “now take your ego which is a defense against the realization of no I, or death- and lick the sole of my foot while keeping your attention away from your sense of I that may feel humiliated…..all that will be left is that which is.” With hesitation I stuck out my dry tongue and slowly began to lick what she called her “sole food.” “Lick, Lick and stop trying to conceptualizer the direct experience, just lick and soon you will be enlightened.” I licked and licked consuming myself with the sole of her foot for at least an hour and when I was done the conceptual formation of who I was- was gone. There was only an unconceptualized state in which my body felt full from consuming too much sole food.


  1. Haha, pure Randall this one, funny and far beyond clever, I have this experience myself sometimes when my own foot is in my mouth. Now you are making me laugh more and I think without compromising your narrative vision, cool,

  2. I liked the story’s poetic device. Literalized it for me. I’ve been in those moments; where ‘I’ suddenly becomes transparent. I don’t totally see how this relates to listening, though maybe you’d care to tell me(?)Love your site aesthetics combined with the jazz…

  3. A Teacher I once had told me that listening was the same thing as mindfulness. Listening to your thoughts, breath, the sensations in your body or external sounds all bring you back into the present moment, which is the goal of mindfulness. Listening as a meditation that extinguishes the self, is what my Teacher said. “How can we really listen if we are not present with what is. If we are caught up in our thoughts we are not listening,” my Teacher said. I work towards this each day but am yet able to master the act. My mind rambles because I am stuck in my ego. I hope this answers your question to an extent. I am rambling, hope the explanation suffices. Thank you for the kind words.

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