It is difficult being broke. It seems as if I have been broke for an eternity. A perpetual state of brokenness. It hurts and it takes a toll upon my body and mind. This summer I have experienced nothing but time. Since I am a high school Teacher I have two months off and I am now going into my second month. All of the money I had saved up to get me through the summer is now gone. Parking tickets, car repairs, lavish meals, veterinarian bills and my own habitual inability to save has brought my bank account to a negative stand still.
There is still a month and a half to go until I receive a pay check. What I am going to do for money in the meantime has been my recent preoccupation. I am kept up at nights with worry and I have noticed that I have been drinking more. I have been using drunkenness as a way to silence my frenetic mind into some semblance of peace. It would also not be a lie to mention that I have been using beer as sleeping medication. Anything to silence the thoughts of impending doom and financial woe. It is all more than I can take. Never could I have imagined that being broke in America would be so painful.
Every morning when I awake I write a short story and then I meditate. When I am done doing this I go on-line and see if I can not find a legal way to make some sort of temporary income. I have considered illegal means, but decided that if I was caught I would destroy my professional reputation and never again find work as a reputable high school Teacher of high standing (literally, because I am 6 foot 5 inches). This morning I found a job listing for a Nude Heroic Archer Warrior. The only thing one needed to get the job was a decent figure and a willingness to pose in the nude with a bow and arrow. For one day of work the pay is $500.
I immediately sent the photographer a picture of myself and a note saying that I would be willing to do this job as long as no one else would be present and that there would be minimum syndication of the photograph. He immediately wrote back telling me that he thought I was decent enough looking to serve as his model and that it would only be himself and his wife in the room and that the photograph would only be for his portfolio. I scheduled a time to work with him for tomorrow and he has requested that I shower and shave before showing up.
When I told my wife about the job as a Nude Heroic Archer Warrior she looked at me in a state of shock. I had never seen her eyes open so wide and speak silent words. I felt awkward by the thick silence between us but then she let out a blistering laugh. She fell to the floor in a seizure of laughter when she realized that I was serious. “I thought I married a Teacher not a nude model?” she asked me when she was done with her laughing fit. “Listen baby, I am broke. My bank account is in a negative balance. I can’t find any temporary work so I need to take what I can get. If it means posing in the nude for 500 bucks so be it.” She stood in deliberation for a moment looking over my body like she could not believe that I had what it took to be a male model. Before walking away in disbelief she said “only in America do Teachers have to stoop so low to survive- you better hope none of your student get a hold of a photo of their Teacher posing in the nude with a bow and arrow.” I thanked her for her understanding and went into our bedroom. I stripped down into the nude and looked at my body in the mirror. All I could think was that I was going to look like a complete fool but man has got to eat.
ABSURdISTRY. 
500 bucks! That’s good money. You won’t look like a fool you’ll look like a nude heroic archer warrior and you’ll feel like one to with that 500 in your pocket.
judging by what google image search pulls up for Nude Heroic Archer Warrior, i’m sure you’ll have a fun day, and get money, win win situation man.
just to let you know as well, on my blog where i chronicle my attempt at writing a novel, i post an excerpt, link and some information about another aspiring novelist. this time it was you, i also put you in my blogroll. i’ve been busting my balls of late to really get it together, holding down a job, trying to have a social life etc, and write the book, it’s been going pretty well, just tiring, but you know, as they say, sleep when you’re dead, good luck with it all man, let us know how the shoot worked out!
Thanks Richard. Yes, we have plenty of time to sleep- but I like being asleep so much. It is the only time my mind is not filled with worry. I read something today that said….when you realize that you do not have to write, that you can get along just fine in life without being a Writer- that writing becomes easier, more fluid and less heavy. I’ll try this theory out and see if it renders a finished novel.
Keep on writing and writing and writing.
It is true Paul- the $500 helped to compensate for my feeling of idiocy.
i guess nude photo shoots is what i have to look forward to when i become a teacher one day huh? lol
…it’s not so bad.