Lately I have been horny. More so than is normal. Out of the corner of my wondering eye I watch women when they pass. Even though I do not suffer from a guilt complex- I notice my glances can contain elements of perversion. I wonder what these women would look like naked, I store that image in my mind and wish that I could see.
When one is unemployed there is a lot of spare time for wishful thinking and perverted explorations. If I had the money I may spend my time in strip clubs or massage parlors hanging out with the real thing. In fact, recently, more of my time is spent covered in trace elements of lust rather than absorbed in active job searching efforts. Nothing pacifies the mind away from a dwindling economic and professional reality like the pursuit of sex. I am only a completely happy man when this pursuit finds me in my dreams.
Last night, after a rough take-off I flew away into a deep, alcohol induced sleep. Through the retina of my dream lense, I saw a beautiful blond girl approaching me. Her perfect body made the hair on my sleeping arms stand up. She took me by the hand and with a careless whisper said “follow me.” I allowed her to escort me off into my fantastic dream.
I followed her around in her school, through a field and a high school football game. I made myself at home on her couch. We laughed together. When she walked into the kitchen I admired her rear end with the reverie of a man who has found exactly what he has been looking for. How lucky I was- an older man no longer in his prime, being sexually pursued by this young girl who was half my age. She performed all kinds of kinky magic tricks on me, the details of which have disappeared- but my erection, that has been with me since the morning, testifies to the fact that whatever happened between us- was fun.
When I woke up this morning I hung around in bed for an hour or so. I did not want to let the blankets go. I turned away from the light so that I could keep the dream projecting on my movie screen. I tried to hold my dream down. But despite my efforts it floated further and further away until it was nothing but an outline. All morning I slumbered around nostalgic for that dream I had left behind in sleep. Where could I find it? I wondered. In the afternoon, when I went on-line, you can only imagine how startled/surprised I was to find a girl who looked very familiar, requesting to add me as a friend on Facebook.
Immediately when I saw her Facebook picture I thought that it could be the girl in my dream. They both had long blond hair, they both had a similar wan complexion, they both were around the same age and they both had that look in their eye that triggered my lust. Not knowing for certain if this was the girl in my dream- I added her as a friend simply so I could search through her profile.
Her profile page was as vague as the memories that I have from last nights dream. An empty closet with nothing but a single picture, a birth date and a name- Brittney Amber, born 1989 (the year I graduated high school). I did find one other piece of intriguing information about her. Listed alongside her interests were two words in bold print- men and dreams.
I have always suspected that our dreams occur in another dimension, another time and space, which is just as real as the waking reality that we exist in. I have often heard it said that when we fall asleep our soul ascends out from our bodies and resumes its soul life in another realm. The dream I had last night left traces in my mind and on my skin- of a reality just as corporeal and tactile as the one I am writing in now. I am almost certain that I was there. If this is the case, then that allows me to conclude one thing………Britney is the girl in my dream.
I have sent Britney a message in which I asked her how she knows me, and why she added me as a friend. I told her about my dream and asked her if she remembers being in it. I am yet to hear from her and maybe I never will if she exists in that world where souls meet (but how do they have access to Facebook there?). For hours today I have stared at Britney’s Facebook photo studying here blue eyes, arched nose and mouth, longing to once again be with her. I have imagined her naked so many times that I can feel her breasts in my hands. All day today I have had a child like quality of excitement that comes with seeing someone whom you thought was long gone. “Could this really be her?” I have been asking myself hoping that the answer is “yes.” Could it be true, that the girl of my dreams has found me on Facebook?