The Man Who Peed A Miracle


Three weeks ago I peed upon a large plot of dirt that was located behind my parents home. I was locked out and had to go. The large plot of dirt was the only piece of land on my parent’s property that was not touched by landscaping. My father had wanted to build a Japanese tea garden on the dirt plot but because of the recent economic recession he had decided to wait it out. I was in my parent’s neighborhood that day (I went to a job interview) and I decided to stop in. Not only was I hoping to borrow some money but I desperately needed to use the toilet. When I found no one at home- I had no choice but to pee on their small piece of land. I peed without any thought about the personal or familial violation I may have been committing. Instead I just relished in the feeling of release. When I was finished watering the soil with my urine, I zipped up my pants and drove back to my home.


Today I returned to my parent’s home and was stunned by what I saw. In the very plot of dirt where I peed three weeks before- grew a gorgeous lemon tree. My father and I stood in silence under the sun staring at this aberration of a lemon tree that had grown over four feet tall- in no time. Full grown lemons sat perched upon the end of its branches and a yellow hue highlighted the trees fluorescent leaves. For a few minutes all thoughts about my peeing in this spot three weeks before escaped me. I asked my father if he was sure that the gardeners did not plant this tree. He told me that he was cutting expenses for the time being and one of those expenses was the gardener. No one had worked on this land for months. My mother came out with a cup of iced tea in her hand and said “isn’t it amazing!!” I looked at my mom and said, “how could this be?” My father picked a lemon from the tree and handed it to me. It was the most beautiful lemon I had ever seen. I could smell it before it was in the palm of my hand. “Amazing,” was all I could say.


And then I remembered that three weeks before I had taken a piss in the same spot where the lemon tree now stood. I questioned myself for a few minutes trying to convince myself that the tree must have been here before I peed. It was not. There was no way to explain what was before my eyes other than that my urine had given birth to this lemon tree. How this could be escapes my rational mind but I remember when I gave a urine sample to my doctor a few months ago he told me it was the most nutrient dense urine he had ever seen. “It almost reminds me of lemon juice,” he said. I thought nothing of this remark until today.

As I stood besides the lemon tree with my mother and father- I was shocked by the possible power of my pee. I wanted to tell them that I know the reason why the tree suddenly appeared. They may be upset that I peed on their property but once their anger simmered and eventually blew away maybe then they would realize the power of their son’s pee. All hurt feelings and personal offense would possibly turn into an emotion of awe and reverence towards the holly man who was their son. Finally they would think that after 38 years of failure on earth- I had hidden potential yet to be taped into. As my mother stood there repeating, “incredible” over and over- I remained silent, too afraid that if I took the risk and told the truth I would be exiled- never allowed to return to their home again. My father went inside and got his camera and for the rest of the afternoon I pretended to be as surprised as they were about this strange lemon tree that grew from my pee.


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