I have been re-thinking the continual existence of this strange little blog called Absurdistry. Absurdistry has been a backstage for me upon which I can recite the lines that travel through my mind as I walk around on the stage of life. It has been a therapeutic release for me- a lifeboat of sorts. What has blossomed out from the two years that I have been writing on this blog is a story of my life that even I am baffled by. When I go back and read past entries I am reminded of a life once lived and surprised by my inability to censor even the least personal detail. “I said that?” I often say out loud. I once read a line by Henry Miller in which he spoke about good writing as the writer’s willingness to be fully honest on the page. “Without honesty all writing is something less,” he said and I believed him. So for two years I have told it like it is on this blog (with some creative embellishment), much to the chagrin of my mother, and I am not sure that I am ready stop.
For most of my adult life I have known that I wanted to be a writer- I just have not been able to sort out how. The need to write has been like an annoying itch that will not go away. The reason why I wanted to deleted this blog is not because of all the potential employers that have somehow found my blog and then decided not to give me the job after reading it. Nor is it because I feel like I sometimes publicly humiliate myself with some of the things I admit on this blog. There are two simple reasons why I initially decided to delete this blog. One is because I thought that if I stopped writing on Absurdistry I would free up more time to work on a novel that could potentially pay my bills someday. I refuse to advertise on Absurdistry and have never looked upon this blog as a way to generate income. So I need to find other ways to “profitize” my writing and I figured if I got Absurdistry out of the way- I would have more time to do so.
The second reason why I wanted to wipe my blog offline is because of a Orwellian like documentary that I watched the other evening. This documentary made me hyperbolically aware of all the ways I have become dependent on technology. I am uncomfortable with this. I realize that I live in a technocratic world, one that is only going to become more and more controlled by the whims of the technological gadget. But I, unlike younger generations, feel like I am still in a position to live a life that is free from the technological dependency that I see all around me. I want to make this leap….. I just do not think I need to crush, swat, smack and delete this blog in order to do so. I have come back to my senses.
What I need to do is minimize my use of these digital gadgets that have behind my back come define a larger portion of my life. But do I need to toss out my best friend, my saving grace, my therapy chair to be free from the ravages of technology? I do not think so. I just want to avoid making that Faustian bargain- which is that one gets to enjoy the freedoms that these technological gadgets provide in exchange for a loss of privacy and a continual dependence upon the companies that make and control these gadgets. I realize that there are beneficial aspects to indulging in the well of technology. There is much to be celebrated about our technological advances as a species. I would not have to ability to express and humiliate myself to all of you without some of these inventions. I have a cell phone, a laptop and an ipod- all of which I enjoy immensely. I have no intention of orphaning my technological gadgets but I do intend to spend more time with fresh air, trees, on a walk, in the lotus position or with other people.
So my time on-line has been minimized. I will continue to report back to this blog with various entries as I go through the day-to-day wonders and foibles of my life. With the same investigative and absurd spirit I will continue to exploit myself in the stories that I post for the rest of the worlds delight. This is my act of service to humanity, the least I can do to atone for the fact that I spend so much time withdrawn inside the pages of my mind. I hope that you will continue to follow me through this absurd dream that we are all sleeping through together. Please forgive me my short comings and my previous false alarm in which I got very close to deleting this blog. I am a man glued together with contradictions. I may say one thing today and do the opposite thing tomorrow- but this idiosyncrasy is what keeps my life spontaneous, unpredictable, comical and absurdly profound. I hope that it will continue to do the same for you.