Breasts, Wars, and Cocktails

I work at a busy bar in the heart of Sacramento. I do not want to say much about the restaurant because I do not really know how I feel about it but what I can say with certainty is that never before have I seen so many white yuppies, who all look relatively the same, congregate in one space. The thing about this kind of normality is that when something slightly unusual occurs, it really stands out in my mind. Like last night when an attractive youngish woman came to my bar and asked if she could get a free drink if she showed me her breasts. At first I was surprised. I was unprepared for this and as my face turned red I tried to assert my masculine confidence. She smiled and waited for an answer as I tried to figure out what to say.

Of course a part of me wanted to see her boobs. It has been a long time since I have seen bare breasts live and in person, other than my wife’s breasts. I thought for a moment how and where she would show me her breast but before the more perverted side of my brain had a chance to come up with a plan my right-minded brain stepped in and said, “No thank you, but if you can tell me one way to create world peace, I will give you a free drink.” For a moment she looked let down and sad. I do not know if it was her or her breasts that felt rejected. But as soon as she looked let down she immediately perked up and said, “oh, I know how to create world peace- have women walk around topless!!!” I smiled and thought about her answer for a moment. I thought about all the wars that men have started because of their desire for breasts. If women walked around topless I think men would become much more aggressive and craving. More wars would be fought, world peace would never be attained. But I appreciated the sweet innocence of her reply. After all she was young woman wanting to share her physical beauty with me, for a free drink. I appreciated this and asked her what she wanted to drink, on me of course.


  1. hey… love your blog! I admire you move from teacher to bartender… I’ve got nothing but respect for people that want to invest their time in their art, even if in the crowd’s eyes that implies a lower social status. peace!

  2. Ms. Bar Patron couldn’t have been more wrong. Rich white yuppies sending poor kids to die is based on no other premise than entitlement. “I am entitled have what I desire, and I will kill you to convince you of that fact.”

    She demonstrated this mindset brilliantly when her actions say, ” I have no redeeming qualities, nothing to substance to offer, but I still hold my head up out of blind entitlement.”

    …And Another Thing!!

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